I have an online stopwatch poised at 1 solid hour. I have plenty of research already done, I have characters and a general idea of what's going on. But I'm surly and chock full of simmering resentment and I don't know what is the dealio with me and I don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna get started. But I do. And I will. And eventually I will get this shitty attitude to wear off.

This year, I have Dragon Naturally Speaking to fall back on. As the NaNo Blow Out of Ought Two was pre-LJ for me, you may not know that 35 K into Mr. Patel's Moral Compass I woke up the day before Thanksgiving unable to use my hands. insert sarcastic drawl:I suppose all that poor posture and constant typing, pressure and tension got to me. </end>. I mean, I couldn't even hold a hairbrush. And the worst part was that I never found out how that fucking story ended. I write with my hands, apparently, and not just literally. I did try Dragon Naturally speaking that horrid weekend, but I can't "think" of a story the same way. It was not the fun times, my babies.

Anyway, since I began this entry, a neighbor invited me over for a BudLight and a slice of pizza. I have also had some ice cream. I am now adequately fortified to get on this.

Let the deathmarch begin!

Hmm?

Perhaps you are a lawyer, or trust one that you wish to recommend, regarding the distribution of printed materials by a third party.

Mr. Pants has self-published Zombocalypse Now, but Alliance has indicated interest in shipping it out and pimping it in its catalogue. They distribute goods to something like 2000 game stores. They also think Diamond might be interested in picking it up; and Diamond distributes to pretty much all comic book shops everywhere.

If anyone has had any experience (for good or for ill) with these agencies, kindly speak out, man.

Thank you!

Ryan North so personally hearts my boyfriend! And his book!

A THOUSAND YAYS 4EVA!!!!11!!

I went outside for lunch today, which I don't generally do. The Great Burning Eye and I are not buddies, you see. But today was one of those spectacular days that autumn seems to specialize in: cool, sweet air, bright, cloudless sky, busy rustle of the trees, stuttering rap of the frolicking jackhammer... Well, that's the city for you.

I sat out on the terrace and let the sun shine on me, getting that roaring volcanic orange glow behind my closed eyelids, and my hair was hot to the touch, probably glowing like a stove filament. When I opened my eyes again, the sun seemed so bright that it had leached the color out of everything--everything was old silver bromide, like a classic Astaire film.

I'm sure you've all noticed that I haven't really written anything since I started dating Mr. Pants... nearly two years ago. It is probably because my writing was such a solitary endeavor, and I had a lot of free time, a lot of alone time, Pre-Pants. It's also due in part to the fact that almost everything I wrote came from a place of longing, and I don't seem to have that anymore--or anyway, not to the same degree. I don't want this to be true. I love writing and I like what I write and yet it feels like... I am happy and I have nothing to say.

That makes me feel... unsettlingly domestic and weirdly un-feminist. And dudes, let me point out that Mr. Pants does the cooking and I'm not exactly beating my laundry against the rocks of the river or anything like that. Let us also note that in this time, Mr. Pants has written, illustrated, designed, published and is in the heat of promoting his own book. Mr. Pants likes what I write and does what he can to tempt me with screenplay projects and collaborations, saying he feels like it's his fault that I haven't been writing. While that's not strictly true, I mean, I'm not NOT writing in order to cater to his every whim or anything like that, it sort of feels true.

I've been neglecting LJ in particular for some time, but that was long before Mr. Pants, as I was wary of work net access and the insatiable time sink that is LJ/fanfic reading. I fear that I've earned some downright enmity in some areas by being away so long and so completely. But people with children, I don't even know how they feed themselves, and time management has never been my strength, and this ridiculous job has been so absolutely draining that I felt I could barely lift my head at home, let alone bust out the laptop and be at all amusing.

I don't know, kids. I should be focusing on discipline, working out regularly, eating 5 small meals a day, starting an actual savings account, paying down 5 K of credit card debt, writing for an hour every day...

I wish I had the kind of money that buys you an in-house nutritionist and a trainer, but I guess I'll just have to nut up and be responsible, be DIY, be the change I want to see, etc. (g)

I saw Persepolis last night; I'd read the first novel, but not the sequel, and it only intensifies the feeling that I should keep my middle class American whinging to myself: I love Mr. Pants more than buttered bread, I have no relatives actively at risk in Iraq or Afghanistan, I have a job and health insurance, Mr. Pants's brother has long since moved out. Boo freakin' hoo, right?

Introspection! Your eyes are no doubt bleeding with boredom now.

In other news: Mad Men, I am glad you exist. Also: I love me some fuckin' recaps.

Mr. Darcy, as you may know, is a sexy motherfucker. I recently made Mr. Pants watch the BBC Version of Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. Basically, we drank every time anyone said "Mr. Darcy", or "Pemberly", whenever anyone was mean to Kitty or Mary, whenever there's a dance, whenever anyone talks about bonnets, whenever Mr. Bennet makes fun of his wife, whenever the Bingley sisters make fun of the Bennets, whenever Mr. Darcy is wet and/or naked... It was good times, and we got a little tipsy, I don't mind saying. But I figured he just watched it to be a good boyfriend and whatnot, but then this morning, we talked about how Mary will totally get out of her goth period and not be constantly compared to the favored daughters and that maybe she'd grow up to be okay, kind of like Peggy from Mad Men.

Heh. My boyfriend discussed Pride and Prejudice of his own free will!

A few years ago now, and I'm sure not years ago enough for lucitania, I was staying at her place. We were watching an absolutely hilariously wretched softcore "film" on Spike. It's called Hard Ticket to Hawaii. It's about hot chicks who have a charter plane? I think? And they get mixed up with some... spies? Maybe? And there's a hot tub scene and there's an escaped boa constrictor that has recently dined on radioactive rats. And that's only in the part of the film I managed to stay awake to see, because I know that I would have remembered Random Death Frisbee. lucitania, this goes out to you.

lucitania, aka Mallory Klohn, alias Ethan Nelson, has put together a community to encourage you to complete/start/rewrite that novel you've got on your hard drive. You may know someone who has finished a book and, you know, gotten it published. Know what? You could be that guy/gal! This could help you get started.

Kickstart Your Art.

Perhaps you are a person who likes to read books. And also to play video games. Back in the day, if you wanted to do that at the same time, you went to the library and got yourself some choice hand-held Choose Your Own Adventure action!

It so happens that I know of a book that you may like, if you like that sort of thing. And if you like things that are awesome. And if you do not like things that are awesome, then I don't even know you anymore!

Let us propose an awesome scenario: If you were a stuffed bunny facing an onslaught of slavering, relentless zombies in a parking lot, what would you do? More importantly, what would be the consequences of your actions?

These questions don't have to be merely philosophical!

Zombocalypse Now. As in, this very minute! Be the first on your block to own a book about zombies and stuffed bunnies with opposable thumbs by placing a pre-order at chooseomaticbooks.com.

(No Jane Austens were harmed in the writing of this book. That is by my boyfriend. Who is also awesome.)

This is an email I got today from my mom:

I live in Central Florida and in our local paper they are running a poll on should Florida reconsider its ban on gay marriage. You can go to orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/ to vote. I have been watching our numbers all weekend and we had been leading until just a few minutes ago when the votes for no went from 1200 to over 2000 in less than 3 minutes. They state the poll is unscientific but the ramifications could be enormous. Can you help?

You can close your browser and vote again and again, so I say, stuff the ballot box for a good cause.

xo

I've been away for longer than I thought.

I am told Muskrat Jamboree is on this weekend: have fun, you crazy kids.

laurashapiro is gardening!

prillalar is writing 20 mintues a day!

runpunkrun is also writing, and making John an accidental sociopath!

katallison is taking a well deserved break from the horrors of registration!

spike21 is walking for MS!

lucitania is celebrating her 2 year Panniversary!

Um. Me, I have little to report. I had dinner with our dear eliade last week and may well lunch with our darling katallison when she returns from the Jamboree.

Work is awful beyond the telling, but I have a job, and don't sleep in a tent, and hey, no one has shot at me today, so. I'm gonna take that as a win.

Besides, gritkitty sent me a package! Handmade paper! Made of poo. :D

Postcards and poo, babies. We're keepin' it real.

Be sweet, my cupcakes.

You are so splendiferous. After eliade posted to say thanks, a few more of you raised your hands and gave to the cause. We got to $3100 bucks!

You are all made of pure, sweet love.

This morning I came in to work a half day, and I was up very late the night before and for the first time since I can remember, the alarm clock had to wake me. Saturday morning, the grass lacy with frost, a random sheet of newspaper glazed with disco glitter, empty streets except for one jogger with a bobble hat and a guy walking a pair of those dogs that don’t look like dogs so much as Tina Turner wigs with feet.

As I walked along I thought about how much I love to live here, and how much I owe Anna.

I swear, and I’m not even lying, that 62 – 76% of everything I like about my life at this moment is due, in some way, to Anna.

When I first started out in X-Files, Anna is one of the first people who stopped me in my tracks. In A Dark Time was utterly lush, with magnificent vocabulary, a deadly knack for setting and mood, and sex scenes so intensely incendiary they stole my breath away. We exchanged a few emails, mine full of giddy praise, hers full of... what? Shy wit? Self-deprecating brilliance?

I think of all I’d owe her even if I’d never met her: the absolute kick of reading one of her X-Files, with her dangerously complicated Mulder, somehow re-drawn and more himself when Anna wrote him. Her passionate and underhanded Krycek. I fell in love with Jack O’Neill because of her – if you haven’t read The Other Half, jump to it. Every installment of her Buffy Season Noir was absolutely hypnotic, addictive, thrilling, in every sense of the word. Just the sheer amount of time I’ve spent reading and re-reading her stories alone would be enough to say she’s made measurable cheerful improvement to my life.

With her around, I fell in with such a crowd, babies. Old school X-philes like torch, Te, Hal, Spike, Kat Allison, Jane Mortimer, Laura Shapiro... August company indeed. And when I first came to the West Coast, I stayed with her. I met one of my most cherished friends live and in person (you may know her as McSwain! Or lucitania) because Anna offered to let me stay on her couch (after, you know, helping me meet McSwain! and years later McSwain! letting me stay with her while I looked for work in northern Washington), and I moved to my beautiful city because Anna let me stay on her couch while I got a job in town when Northern Washington didn’t work out. She later, in fact, gave me that most beloved couch (and much of the rest of my furnished apartment)—and I cried bitter tears when I had to move and the couch was too magnificent (and long) for me to fit into my tiny teabox apartment.

Without Anna and her X-Files catching the eye of other superb people with excellent taste, it is likely I’d never have met anyone on LJ at all. Without Anna, it is absolutely certain I would never have met Mr. Pants, because without Anna I could never have managed to get on my feet, and would never have been able to stay on here.

So, I say to you, to know Anna is to love her. Even to only know of her through any of the stories she’s given us, is to love her. And this love has been materially demonstrated by the sending of an astonishing influx of cash to help her ride out this rough patch.

You lovelies, each and every one of you. With your incredible kindness, we raised a pretty sweet chunk of change. By which I mean we broke $2,000 bucks. In 24 hours. On a weekend. You guys. You guys! 2 grand!! (Total: $2285.00.)

Oh, you are all made of love. Also magic beans. And solid gold dancers. With hearts of gold.

Such kindness can never be repaid, but perhaps it can be duplicated. I know this is not the last act of charming generosity I see while you guys draw breath.

Hugs all around. And gold stars on all your foreheads. My sweet people!

Happy Birthday, my dearest darling Anna. As you see, you are loved by many, and that is always very nice to know.

Love,

kormantic

[By the way, just so you know, I gave Anna a $500.00 chunk in person and will be getting the rest to her after the PayPal donations clear in my bank account, which may take until Jan 28 or so. I don’t know about youse guys out there, but I don’t have that kind of cash just lying around, so I couldn't actually front her the whole amount at once. (g) Your generosity was literally overwhelming, and I will smile every time I think of it for the rest of my life.]

Hello there, kiddos. I unlocked this - better to spoil the surprise if it means a little more help from abroad. :)

Many of you know Anna S (eliade) and you know that Anna sightings can be rare. I just got in touch with her for the first time since Election Day and she's not exactly on top of the world.

Anna has given much to the fannish community - brilliant X-Files, pitch-perfect SG-1 and SGA and some of the most amazing Buffy fic I've ever seen. She, like all of us, has been feeling the squeeze of the economic downturn, but just recently, she's had it rougher than most. She's been jobless for a while and her unemployment insurance ran out in October.

Nothing is more demoralizing than being out of work, and nothing is harder to do than to ask for help. On top of that, it's her birthday tomorrow. So now would be a pretty good time to do something to help out, I'm thinking. (g)

Five or ten dollars from anyone reading this who's got it to spare would be useful for gas money and groceries and to help make ends meet until she can land something more than occasional temp work. (I will front Anna any cash raised by the time I see her at 4 tomorrow, and then wait for the PayPal hold to clear, with the understanding that PayPal will take a cut. Any cash received after that will also go to her, probably by mail as a check drawn on my account.)

Anna is also famously shy, so keep in mind that she may not post on LJ to say thank you - but any dough collected can be vouched for by katallison, so you don't feel like your money was funneled directly into my oh-so-deep pockets.

And you don't need to send cash to lend a hand: locals who know of contract gigs in the tech writing field, or who may know of something related, could contact me with leads, writers who love Anna could post a little something you think she might like, and anyone at all could send her some groovy birthday wishes on 1/24 in any way that moves them.

Feel free to cut and paste this or just link back to this page if you've a mind to.

http://kormantic.livejournal.com/200541.html

Thank you for taking a moment to read this. You're splendid.

ETA: Please let me know in the PayPal comments to the seller option if you wish to be named or anonymous on the Birthday Card I'll sign with all names on your behalf.

Also, naturally, I will post the amount raised.

Stay classy, San Diego fannish community at large!

You know, I didn't write much this year (and technically, I wrote Mr. Karaoke [a personal favorite of mine- it will NEVER not be funny to me to think of Rodney singing Cherry Pie, babies] years ago), but here's a recap just the same:

Rising (The Last Unicorn, a Shmendrick story written for sandlion) for Yuletide.
Amplexus Rodney, John and Rodney's arms.
Water A Teyla story.
Mr. Karaoke Um. Rodney sings Cherry Pie. Shut up, it's comedy gold!
Moment of Truth Not so much *bad* TV as... evil TV. But Rodney would so pwn that shit.
Prompt-O-Rama A grab bag of mostly SGA.
Transmission Line Theory Rodney in the 80s.

2008 was ultimately very kind to me: a boy I love, lavish praise and a modest raise when I thought for sure I'd get the sack, a President I can believe in. Well. Yeah. Yeah!

I don't need 2009 to top it; just maintain. That's not too much to ask, right?

Killa, what did you want for bucadibitchin'??? Anything more specific than "Methos"?

In your faces, Yuletiders. I got a very charming little moment with Stephen Maturin for Christmas this year. Actually, you did, too.

A Contemplation of the Rearing of Phoca Grypus

Thank you, Yuletide Santa!!

Now I'm off to Maine. Be good, and see you in 2009!

Happy Merry Generic Holiday Seasonal Greetings to all, and to all a good night.

Brought to you by spike21. I know I'm a bit scarce these days, but I do think about youse guys. Witness the meme below, and let us all tremble under the strain of the last few episodes of SGA together.

The Rules:

A. People who have been tagged must, if they choose to participate, write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question. Please italicize the new question if you do that.

B. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

tag: eliade, katallison, chicklet_girl, gritkitty, mrs_laugh_track, belmanoir, branman1975, devildoll

( meme-o-rama! )