frivolous vitriol - Amplexus, SGA, Rodney/John
Hot Sexellence and public displays of roller disco
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Amplexus, SGA, Rodney/John
I may have, um. Slacked off at work. A lot. And written this for [info]runpunkrun's birthday. On The Man's time!

Anyway, she's splendid. She and [info]lucitania gave it a glance, and yet I neglected all their sage advice.

Amplexus
by Pares


If anyone had asked him about it, he would have tipped his cowboy hat back (if he'd had one) and said, "Well, it was a hell of a thing." But no one asked him about it, possibly because he wasn't wearing a cowboy hat, or maybe just because his men were wise (or dumb) enough not to notice the way that John had taken to staring at Rodney's arms.

The weird thing was that Rodney had always had arms. Two of them. Attached at the shoulder and ending in big square hands. They weren't tattooed or scaly or horrifically scarred (the Genii scar healed right up, thanks to the skin-knit cream that Teyla had made out of the last of her Athosian herbs) and so they hadn't especially caught John's eye. Until he watched Rodney prevent a Kindis councilmember from falling off a shoddily constructed dais. Rodney had been in the middle of accepting an honorary degree as as symbol of the Kindis people's appreciation for his overhaul of their failing water purification system when the dais, crowded with eager well-wishers and robed academics, gave way. The structure was only three feet high or so, and it wasn't likely that anyone would have been badly hurt, but Rodney had bounded forward, reached out and jerked one overbalancing guy from the edge, dragging him close. He peered over the guy's shoulder, staring at the buckled wood and practically clutching the guy to his chest. John figured that Rodney had thought it was some kind of assassination attempt at first. After a few seconds of hubbub, Rodney, who was shirtless under the ceremonial poncho the Kindis granted to their doctors of philosophy and whose arms had been tense with bunched muscle, and also wrapped around a sharp-faced man in his 30s, let go of the rescue-ee. Then he rolled his eyes and suffered several hugs and hearty back-slaps from surrounding people impressed with his actions, notably from the sharp-faced man. He'd seemed especially enthusiastic, and John didn't guess he could blame him. At the very least the guy had been saved a knock on the head and some nasty splinters. Still, John wondered if he'd been imagining the guy briefly palming Rodney's ass.

"I have half a mind to return the poncho," Rodney sniffed later. "It doesn't take an engineering degree to build a box."

Teyla helped Rodney out of the heavily embroidered cloth and chided, "The mantle of scientific principal is a very great honor, Rodney."

"And obviously they have good taste, as they awarded it to me, but still."

"Gib wants to talk to you," Ronon said. He wasn't smiling, but the tilt of his eyebrows suggested amusement.

"Which one is he again?"

"He's the Second Engineer."

At Rodney's blank look, Ronon clarified, "He's the guy you grabbed."

"Oh. Well, I suppose he wants to thank me. Teyla, if there's a, a, gratitude ceremony or something, you can get me out of it, right?"

"I will see what I can do," Teyla acceded.

But it turned out that Gib hadn't planned anything fancy, and didn't even take much of Rodney's time. He just presented Rodney with a palm-sized glazed tile and then laid a kiss on him that was somehow voluptuous yet courtly. When it was over, and John had repressed the bizarre urge to punch the guy in the face, Gib closed Rodney's slack fingers more firmly around the tile and flashed him a smile before striding away with a bounce in his step.

"What... what just happened?" Rodney asked. He looked genuinely confused, and also not a little weak in the knees.

John said evenly, "He kissed you. That's what it looked like from here, anyway." Granted, this was the second time he'd watched another guy kiss Rodney, but then, the first time, Rodney hadn't exactly been himself.

"But... oh god, I'm not, we're not married now or something, are we?" Rodney looked distinctly pale.

Teyla plucked the tile from Rodney's hand and patted his arm reassuringly. "You are not. This is a stone from his hearth window. You will know his home from the others by the matching pattern. If you wish to send word to him, you fold a letter here," and John saw the tile had been hollowed out, "and it will be taken to him."

"So he just gave me... his address?"

"He wants you, McKay," Ronon said in a matter of fact tone. Then he grinned ferociously and added, "To call him."

"Oh, god," Rodney said, staring at the tile Teyla had handed back. "If I don't... If I don't call him, we won't get arrested or anything, will we?"

"Rodney, you are free to contact him if you wish to do so, but it is not a requirement."

Rodney apparently seemed to consider it.

"Hmm. You know, he was the least idiotic of the bunch. If I sent him the plans, and followed up with him in a month or two, he could make some headway on construction of that new filtration screen for the north quarter."

"Ennis and Choi are supposed to come out in the next couple of days with bigger pipes. They can bring the diagrams then," John pointed out.

"Hmm," Rodney said again.

*

John suspected that Rodney had never been much for formal dress. In fact, until the funerals for Gaul and Abrams, he'd never even seen Rodney in a button-down shirt. Hadn't known he'd thought to bring any with him. Now, Rodney seemed to have forgone every longsleeved garment he possessed, giving up on jackets unless they were on missions. Even though John had seen him in black t-shirts every day for months, they now seemed to highlight his smooth, surprisingly muscular arms to a nearly ridiculous extent. Which lead to his staring at them. Or what felt to him like staring. He liked to think he was being discreet, but Ronon's indulgent expression seemed to disprove that.

"I think my shirts have been shrinking in the wash," Rodney said, and he tucked his fingers under the cap of his sleeve, pulling it taut against the muscles of his biceps. John felt his ears go hot and choked a little on the cornbread he'd been munching on.

"You're putting on muscle," Ronon said approvingly. "Told you working out with me would help."

"You didn't tell me anything, you sociopath. You drag me out of bed, literally, every morning! And make me do push-ups."

This was news to John, but Teyla seemed unsurprised. Ronon just shrugged and slurped at his juicebox. John spent the rest of lunch checking out Rodney's biceps out of the corner of his eye.

*

"How many push-ups can you do?" Rodney asked accusingly. John had come to the gym to work on the rowing machine, and had almost tripped over Rodney, in stiff but perfectly serviceable form, mid-push-up. "It's like, two hundred, right? Well, I hate you. If I do fifty I feel like Rocky. The one at the end of the movie, where he looks like he fell down the stairs?"

"You're doin' fine, Rodney." And he looked fine. Broad shoulders, thick arms, the back of his neck flushed with exertion. Damn it, John thought.

"Hmph," Rodney said, grunting through another push-up. John suddenly remembered some flight notes he wanted to make and left the gym.

*

If John really thought about it, it wasn't so much Rodney's arms as the fact that they'd been wrapped around a guy. Naturally. Like it wasn't any big deal to put your arms around another guy. It was confusing, because John had never seen Rodney accept any hugs with anything like good grace. John tried to remember seeing Rodney hug someone else voluntarily-- he'd heard about the miracle hug that had erased Ronon's scars, but he hadn't seen it. So he tried to picture it. Rodney, with his arms around Ronon. In his mind's eye, it was surprisingly cuddly. Even when he'd hugged Gib... it had looked strong, a little panicky even, but comfortable.

Huh.

*

It turned out that Rodney was a good man to have around if you had a weird reaction to the punch on Phenon.

"Sheppard?" Rodney's voice sounded far away, like it was coming from a tin can strung on a cord. "What did you do to him?!"

"It is a passing vertigo, harmless, harmless, you'll feel better in a very few minutes," soothed a matronly voice. John had no idea what she looked like, but he was pretty sure that if he opened his eyes, she'd be upside down. Like his stomach. And his brain. He felt the world tilt and tried to remember if there was a throw rug close enough to soften his fall, when he felt arms close around his chest from behind, hoisting him up.

"John? She's sending for Ronon and Teyla. Hey, hey, keep your feet, Orjafi says it's better if you stand up."

"Why?"

"How the hell should I know?" Rodney shifted his grip so that John was propped against him, one broad shoulder wedged under John's arm.

"The room's spinning."

"How can you tell? Your eyes are closed." Rodney sounded distracted, slightly breathless.

"I just. I need to hold on to something."

"Oh. Okay." And Rodney wrapped his arms around him, his breath feathering against John's throat as he readjusted his hold. "Back up," Rodney directed, and John did his best. Then he had his back against the solid wall and his chest against Rodney, who had a fast grip on John's own biceps. "I guess. We ride it out. If I let you go, do you feel like you'll fall again?"

"Rodney," John said, and tightened his arms around the man, mouth pressed against the shoulder of Rodney's inevitable black t-shirt. There was a pause, and then a careful hand on John's shoulder, a single pat, then a short rub.

"She says you'll be fine," Rodney said nervously.

"Yeah," John said, and inhaled again, grounded by the familiar smell of Rodney's soap under the scent of sweaty cotton shirt and dry-board eraser.

*

When John could stand on his own again without wanting to throw up, he had some trouble meeting Rodney's eye. When they got back to the jumper, Rodney flew them home, and his team loitered in the lobby while Keller gave him the once-over and took a sample of the punch for study, along with a sample of his blood.

After she finished peering, she sent him off with a pat on the arm and a promise to add albret punch to his allergy sheet.

"So, you're okay? No lingering side-effects, no dizziness, no strange... compulsions?" Rodney's expression was a mixture of hope and apprehension. Maybe he'd been rooting for some convenient short-term memory loss. Because John had gotten the distinct impression that Rodney had sort of enjoyed propping John against the wall.

"Keller gave me the all clear." He aimed a friendly punch at Rodney's shoulder. "Hey, thanks for lending me a hand back there. It was pretty hairy for a while."

"Don't mention it," Rodney said. His anxious, huge-eyed face said, Really. Don't Mention It.

*

John hadn't really expected Rodney to show up at his place to talk it out, and it wasn't his own first instinct either, so he really didn't see it coming when Ronon cornered him in the hallway before their morning run and said, "You should let him know."

"Let who. Know what?" John had honed that precise combination of obtuse and irritating by his senior year of high school.

Ronon just folded his arms.

"I can't exactly---"

This earned him an eyebrow tilt.

"Ronon, seriously, I am not discussing my love life--"

A look of utter satisfaction.

"--in the hallway, or anywhere else for that matter, with you. Or anyone."

"He wants you. And I've seen you watching him. I just think you should do something about it."

"And I think you should take another swing at Keller."

Ronon narrowed his eyes.

"Not so much fun on that side, is it?"

"Rodney says you can be kind of a jerk."

"Well, takes one to know one."

"What does that even mean?"

"That Rodney's also kind of a jerk. And so, by the way, are you."

A grin split Ronon's face.

"Yeah." And he broke away, powering down the hallway at top speed, leaving John in his dust.

*

He grabbed a shower after the run, and when he opened his door to leave his quarters for the mess hall, Rodney was standing there looking curious.

"Ronon told me to tell you that you're a jerk."

"Thanks." John figured this was going to take some time and leaned in the doorway, folding his arms.

"Why are you a jerk, exactly?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Well, I wouldn't call you a jerk, really. Annoying at times, maybe."

"Aww, Rodney, I didn't know you cared."

"Hmm." Rodney looked distracted, which wasn't unusual, but his ears were red, which was. This made John feel obscurely guilty, so he cleared his throat and said, "Look, Rodney, about the vertigo thing--"

"I'm not going to apologize," Rodney said quickly. "It wasn't anything I could really do anything about, and while I do, while I would, regret any discomfort it may have caused you, it was entirely accidental and I never want to discuss it again."

"Rodney. Look, I am a jerk, ask any of my ex-girlfriends. Hell, ask my ex-wife. But I've gotta come clean about this: while I wasn't exactly in a position to do anything about-- anything. I liked it, okay? You didn't, you know, offend me or whatever. With your. Interest."

"Seriously? So. You'd be... interested?"

John grinned a little and reached out to hook a hand around Rodney's smooth, warm arm and towed him inside, sliding the door closed behind him. Rodney immediately crowded him, and John cupped a hand around the back of his neck. His dick was firming up pretty nicely, nudging against Rodney's thigh.

"I have to admit, you're a pretty interesting guy."

"Hmph," Rodney said, mashing his mouth against the line of John's throat before leaning up to kiss him, to wrap his arms around John's back. Strong, a little overeager even, but good, so good, and familiar. Right.

END

Tags: ,
where it's at: couch perfection
I feel funny and my pants are: gimpy
the world is singing and it sounds like: Bon Jovi, Livin' on a Prayer!

Comments
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[1] [2]
jimpage363 From: [info]jimpage363 Date: May 28th, 2008 04:58 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Aw....yum! Your stuff always has that light touch that makes it so real and warm and fuzzy without being cloying.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

you're always so sweet to me

I'm glad you dug this.
minnow1212 From: [info]minnow1212 Date: May 28th, 2008 05:00 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
eeeeeeeeeeee! this story is, like, full of sparkly joy. I want to hug Ronon.

Also, push-ups--that's a nice mental image.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:17 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

I apparently

have a bit of a thing. First John, now Rodney. I bet you that Ronon can do one handed push-ups with Teyla sitting in his back.

I think if I could do even one push-up... I'd still want them to do push-ups for me. (g)
shrift From: [info]shrift Date: May 28th, 2008 05:07 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Nnggh. Arms! *waves hands* Also, I appreciate how sly and slightly evil your Ronon is. And also Rodney's arms. Yes. And John touching them.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

mmm, arms.

I'm so glad that they all have two. For hugs in stereo!
panisdead From: [info]panisdead Date: May 28th, 2008 05:40 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
"I think my shirts have been shrinking in the wash," Rodney said

SCREAM. I think you wrote it for meeeeeeeeeee.

This is pure happy-making.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:20 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

I wrote it for everyone

who loves Rodney. And his arrrrrrrrrrrrms. (g)
almostnever From: [info]almostnever Date: May 28th, 2008 05:40 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
I almost just wanna go nawww at them both. But it's more than just the cuteness. They're just so them. ♥
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:21 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

I'm glad to hear you say so.

You're so groovy to let me know.
dovil From: [info]dovil Date: May 28th, 2008 05:45 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Awwww, armliciously lovely.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:22 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

When will he have shirtless Rodney again?

I'm so glad you let me know that you liked it.
sageness From: [info]sageness Date: May 28th, 2008 05:57 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Eee! This was so much fun! *smishes them together lots*
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:24 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

hee!

Seriously, I would have them hug in every episode. A lot. Nakedly.
siriaeve From: [info]siriaeve Date: May 28th, 2008 06:26 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Aww, this made me beam dopily ♥
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

hooray!

Dopey beaming for the win!
jcalanthe From: [info]jcalanthe Date: May 28th, 2008 06:27 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Yay, this is a lot of fun! I especially like Ronon the yenta.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:29 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

come on

You'd watch that show. I know I would. "This week, Ronon finds a husband for Trixie! This thrice-divorced mother of six is ready for love!"

I'm so glad you had a good time.
smallbeer From: [info]smallbeer Date: May 28th, 2008 06:37 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Rodney's arms! so worthy of appreciation, and lovely stories like this. I love your bemused Sheppard, not quite sure what's happening or what he should do about it. and Ronon--deus ex machina OF LOVE.



Edited at 2008-05-28 06:38 am (UTC)
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:31 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

Ronon knows you have to be sneaky

at times. And also to be a jerk.
runpunkrun From: [info]runpunkrun Date: May 28th, 2008 07:44 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Mmm, these arms are just as good when they're not being read on work time!

And I forgot to mention how awesome it is that John tells Ronon he should take another swing at Keller.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:33 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

oh, *boys*

All they do is pull each other's pigtails all the time.
buddleia From: [info]buddleia Date: May 28th, 2008 09:29 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Such a happy-making story! I especially loved Ronon being all twinkly.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:34 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

who doesn't love Ronon being all twinkly?

I'm so glad it made you happy!
anatsuno From: [info]anatsuno Date: May 28th, 2008 10:53 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: May 29th, 2008 04:36 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

:)

I think you liked it!
gritkitty From: [info]gritkitty Date: May 28th, 2008 10:53 am (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Ronon is awesome! And so is this story. ; )
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

Dude.

I bought some little treats for you a solid month ago, and I have them in an envelope and I bought the right postage and everything and yet I have not yet sent it! I fail!

Check your mailbox this week.

(Also: Ronon IS awsome!)
mklutz From: [info]mklutz Date: May 28th, 2008 12:01 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
The breakfast of champions! This was an awesome way to start my day, and now I will have the thought of Rodney's arms bouying me through my day~
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

mmm, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrms...

He's so damned... lickable.
semielliptical From: [info]semielliptical Date: May 28th, 2008 12:12 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Ronon is so crafty! I adore the image of Rodney in a ceremonial poncho and Gib giving him his address on a tile, but mostly John's obsession with Rodney's arms. Fabulous fun!
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

it cracks me up

to think of Ronon going, "He wants you to call him!" But mostly I wanted John to think about Rodney's arms. Mmm.
nestra From: [info]nestra Date: May 28th, 2008 01:15 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
YAYS.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

indeed.

:)
aurora_84 From: [info]aurora_84 Date: May 28th, 2008 01:20 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Awwwwww, this was delightful!
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

thank you!

Punk deserves delightful things. And we all deserve Rodney and arms and John and hugs.
thegrrrl2002 From: [info]thegrrrl2002 Date: May 28th, 2008 01:22 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Aw! John mooning over Rodney is just too damn adorable. And thank you for the happy image of Rodney doing push-ups. This fic is a total delight. Just what I needed this morning. Thank you!
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

thank you for stopping by

and checking out Rodney's arms with us. (g)
dogeared From: [info]dogeared Date: May 28th, 2008 01:25 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
eeeeeee oh I love it! And I really, really love your John, who's kind of a jerk and kind of a dork, and who I hope has a long, happy future of being squashed up by Rodney. :D
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

I have high hopes.

John totally secretly craves hugs. MANLY HUGS! And Rodney's just the man to give them.
sihayab From: [info]sihayab Date: May 28th, 2008 01:25 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Oh, wonderful! Lovely snark -- Ronon makes a great yenta, y/y? ;>

Mmmm, I can picture John's fingers and tongue flying over the landscape of Rodney's arms. . .
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

exactly.

Rodney's arms! Wholesome fun for the whole family! And Ronon, grief counselor, match maker, fitness guru! He's such a renaissance man!
thingswithwings From: [info]thingswithwings Date: May 28th, 2008 02:04 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
awwwwwwwwwwww! *happy sigh* this makes me all warm and glad inside.
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

hee.

Never has your icon been so appropriate. John, overcome by a hug! That hug was the beginning of the end of his heteronormativity!
crysothemis From: [info]crysothemis Date: May 28th, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Oh, yum.

Love the vertigo reaction -- a nice change-up on the usual aphrodisiac.

And mmmm, arms. Can't really blame John for that one. ;)
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

we're all susceptible

to Rodney's arms. Them's just the facts, ma'am!
kassrachel From: [info]kassrachel Date: May 28th, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
OH YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!

I adore Rodney's biceps (I'm totally with John on this) and I adore the thing with the ceramic tile (snerk) and I adore your Ronon beyond all belief and I just love this a TON.

Also, happy birthday [info]runpunkrun! Thanks for sharing your presents with us!
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

Punk knows sharing is caring

and it wouldn't be cruel to deny the public access to Rodney's arms. (g)
amberlynne From: [info]amberlynne Date: May 28th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)
Naaaaaaaaaaaaw. They are both so adorably stupid and in love. Also? ARMS! \o/
kormantic From: [info]kormantic Date: June 1st, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC) (for the permanent collection)

I love thier dorky love

and I love Rodney's arms. Two great tastes that taste great together!
69 ninjas dispatched! :||: dispatch a ninja
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this is going out to all my ninjas
kormantic
User: [info]kormantic
Name: kormantic
Website: the skalab
somone once said
I leave and go stand in front of the vending machines. I have seventeen cents, and three of them are Canadian. I have eighteen cents. You can't buy anything with eighteen cents. Especially not delicious snack cakes.
sail the high seas
all my golden giddy days
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